Don’t worry, last week I hung out with my Slum-Dawg Krishna. It was dope. In Krishna’s own words: “It waz off da Heezy, J Weezy!” Which I assume to mean something fairly similar to “dope.” It wasn’t all good though… At the beginning of our meeting? Total K-hole. Rambling on and on about Dunkin’ Donuts [...]
Archive for August, 2009
Holy Cow Milk in Your Dunkin’ Donuts Coffee… And Possibly Curry, too?
Posted in Uncategorized on August 12, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Hangin’ with Bro-Hammed
Posted in Uncategorized on August 12, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Look at us… I still can’t believe they didn’t like our audition tape for Change Of Heart. We weren’t “quirky enough,” apparently. You’re never going to believe this part… This is what he gave me as a present: … Yeah, right. You seriously think they’re gonna let me bring that thing into an airport? I [...]
For Christ’s Sake…
Posted in Uncategorized on August 11, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
I need a damn refill! KANPAI… As they say in Japan.
Defamation: Tantamount to Taking My Name In Vain?
Posted in Uncategorized on August 11, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Attention Mankind (Specifically, America): Don’t believe a word this c-nt says. She’s a liar. We never dated. Do I fantasize about bucktoothed little boys with cow licks? Hell No. Do I look like a Catholic Priest?? Judas Priest, Maybe… …But definitely not a Catholic priest. Did I date Susan Campbell? Absolutely Not. She’s just another delusional [...]
Body of Christ, Anyone?
Posted in Uncategorized on August 4, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
A delicious wafer for breakfast, one for lunch and a reasonable dinner… and you’re just weeks away from feeling great and looking trim. What are you waiting for? The time is NOW. You deserve to have the figure you’ve always dreamed of! YOU TOO can have the Body of Christ… AMEN!
Daily Absurd Church Sign…
Posted in Ridiculous Christian Antics on August 3, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
As mentioned in an earlier post, I will post a new Christian church sign each with my comments and/or captions (and/or none of the above). I encourage you to submit your comments or thoughts on the matter. Bear in mind that I am Jesus. So when I encourage you to do something, you’d better do [...]
Gateway Drugs Are OK with JH Chrysler
Posted in Uncategorized on August 2, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
… I don’t know about the other ones though. If you think about it, a “gateway” drug is not necessarily a bad thing. Think of it as a “gateway” into …the Kingdom of Jesus H. Chrysler. It’s gonna be awesome… MTV will be there. It’s kind of like my Dad’s party, “Heaven” except way better [...]
Absurd Church Signs, The Series…
Posted in Ridiculous Christian Antics on August 2, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Each day, I will post a new Christian church sign and leave comments and/or captions and/or none of the above. You are encouraged by Yours Truly to submit your comments or thoughts on the matter. A witty caption is almost always welcome… That is, unless it was written by the hand of a homosexual or [...]
In The Beginning… there was laughter and applause
Posted in Uncategorized on August 1, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
To this day, it is still super funny when people say “L-O-L” instead of just laughing. LOL. I guess some things never do change. Oh. And, yes. It’s true. I invented “L-O-L”. It never did make it into the New Testament, though. For whatever reason. Actually, come to think of it, it was only after [...]
Hello world! Let’s Talk About My Parents…
Posted in Uncategorized on August 1, 2009 | 1 Comment »
It’s me, Jesus H. The “H” stands for “Himself”. Note that “Himself”, by virtue of it being my middle name, has been promoted to proper noun status. This was not unintentional, according to my parents. And, yes. I do still consider Mary and Joe to be my “real” parents, and I still list them as [...]
